I received this lead on the Internet the other day from Autotrader.com. I present it to you in full.
BUYER INFO
Name: Anthony XXXXXXX
E-Mail Address:
Phone: (510) XXX-5749
Best Contact Time: Any time 8 a.m. - 9 p.m
Comments: hi ma name is anthony XXXXXXX an i am a 19yr old college student full time an i am trying to buy me a car an build my credit . i have no credit.i work full time an i ben with my job for over a year.
Zip Code of Sender: 94509
So. Anthony goes to college. I take it it’s not the University of California. I also take it that he’s not an English major.
Do you get it now why this business is driving me crazy?
People keep telling me that the customers are getting smarter and smarter. I think that peeked about 1997. Since then, the education system in this country has deteriorated to the point that the customers are now becoming dumber again. Good news for Car Men everywhere. I think.
I will be 60 soon. Retirement is not too far down the road.
Thank God!
Talk to you later,
David
Mooch Magnets
You’ve got one on your lot right now, a Mooch Magnet. You know the car (or truck). It’s the one that everyone who is attracted to it either can’t afford the sucker or can’t pull the trigger and it. It’s a vehicle with a potentially great gross, but every time you see someone gawking at the little beauty your stomach does a slow turn.
“Here I go again!” you mutter to yourself.
Mooch Magnets can be either new or used. It just depends on the dealership. I don’t suppose that Kia dealerships have a lot of Mooch Magnets unless it’s on their used car lot. Let’s face it; no one is coming in daily to drool over that cute red Rio you’ve got in the showroom.
Luxury car dealerships have it the worse, I’d guess. There’s an irritating portion of the population that loves a Mercedes Benz or Lexus, but no way in Hell can they buy one.
Chevy dealerships have a built in Mooch Magnet. It’s called the Corvette. Constant readers of this blog know how I feel about Corvettes; I hate ‘em. If you’ve missed my ranting on the subject, check out “I Hate Corvettes” posted in November ’07.
When you work on a used car that specializes in low-end vehicles and low-end customers like I do the situation can be quite sad. My current Mooch Magnet is a black 2006 Buick LaCrosse with 20” chrome rims. It’s pricey for our lot at $9495. You see no one in this neighborhood can afford a car like that. It might as well be $50,000! The only hope I have is to sell it on the Internet.
The minute the LaCrosse hit the front line the deluge began: flakes, flakes and more flakes. Flakes have an incredible ability to choose exactly the wrong car for them. You see, in their eyes it’s all about stylin’. Even though they don’t have a pot to piss in, it’s almost mandatory that they drive a car that fits the hip-hop image of what they believe their life should be like. It doesn’t matter that the LaCrosse is a little edgy and is too much money for their semi-welfare budges. It’s black and has tricked out rims, and that’s all that matters to them.
Another classic Mooch Magnet is the Cadillac Escalade, probably one of the most useless vehicles on the planet. I mean, at least you can take a Hummer camping. A new Escalade is a great way of letting people know that you don’t mind flushing money down a toilet. A used Escalade lets everyone know that you are either really cool or have a screwed up value system. But when you have one on your lot, here they come, glassy-eyed, full of Las Vegas livin’ dreams, and determined to do the (usually) undoable.
“Please let me drive it! Please! Please! Please!”
Oh, God! Just the thought of it makes me want to scream!
So what’s your current Mooch Magnet? Leave a comment and let me know. Is it a Mustang GT Convertible that every 20 year old male in town wants but can’t even afford the insurance? Is it that used Lincoln Navigator with 92,000 miles on it that no one can qualify for? You have to gird yourself and take on the task of talking to that goof who is currently taking photos of it with his cell phone. It’s your job and besides, you just might make a big pop. But oh what hell you have to go through to make it!
Talk to you later,
David
“Here I go again!” you mutter to yourself.
Mooch Magnets can be either new or used. It just depends on the dealership. I don’t suppose that Kia dealerships have a lot of Mooch Magnets unless it’s on their used car lot. Let’s face it; no one is coming in daily to drool over that cute red Rio you’ve got in the showroom.
Luxury car dealerships have it the worse, I’d guess. There’s an irritating portion of the population that loves a Mercedes Benz or Lexus, but no way in Hell can they buy one.
Chevy dealerships have a built in Mooch Magnet. It’s called the Corvette. Constant readers of this blog know how I feel about Corvettes; I hate ‘em. If you’ve missed my ranting on the subject, check out “I Hate Corvettes” posted in November ’07.
When you work on a used car that specializes in low-end vehicles and low-end customers like I do the situation can be quite sad. My current Mooch Magnet is a black 2006 Buick LaCrosse with 20” chrome rims. It’s pricey for our lot at $9495. You see no one in this neighborhood can afford a car like that. It might as well be $50,000! The only hope I have is to sell it on the Internet.
The minute the LaCrosse hit the front line the deluge began: flakes, flakes and more flakes. Flakes have an incredible ability to choose exactly the wrong car for them. You see, in their eyes it’s all about stylin’. Even though they don’t have a pot to piss in, it’s almost mandatory that they drive a car that fits the hip-hop image of what they believe their life should be like. It doesn’t matter that the LaCrosse is a little edgy and is too much money for their semi-welfare budges. It’s black and has tricked out rims, and that’s all that matters to them.
Another classic Mooch Magnet is the Cadillac Escalade, probably one of the most useless vehicles on the planet. I mean, at least you can take a Hummer camping. A new Escalade is a great way of letting people know that you don’t mind flushing money down a toilet. A used Escalade lets everyone know that you are either really cool or have a screwed up value system. But when you have one on your lot, here they come, glassy-eyed, full of Las Vegas livin’ dreams, and determined to do the (usually) undoable.
“Please let me drive it! Please! Please! Please!”
Oh, God! Just the thought of it makes me want to scream!
So what’s your current Mooch Magnet? Leave a comment and let me know. Is it a Mustang GT Convertible that every 20 year old male in town wants but can’t even afford the insurance? Is it that used Lincoln Navigator with 92,000 miles on it that no one can qualify for? You have to gird yourself and take on the task of talking to that goof who is currently taking photos of it with his cell phone. It’s your job and besides, you just might make a big pop. But oh what hell you have to go through to make it!
Talk to you later,
David
The Monroney Sticker
I was driving through a parking lot the other day when I noticed a Honda with the factory window sticker still on it. What gave me pause was that the car was at least a couple of years old. It had license plates on it, bugs on the front bumper, and the sticker was well into the process of fading away.
“Oh, one of those,” I thought. You see them every once in a while, a nut whose idea of keeping a new car new is keeping the window sticker on it long after the new car smell has faded into history.
This got me thinking about window stickers or Monroneys as they are called. They’re named after the Oklahoma congressman, A.S. Mike Monroney, who sponsored the law requiring them in the late 50’s. Before the advent of the Monroney sticker, car dealers could ask whatever the hell they wanted for a new car just as they do with used cars today. Somehow the government decided that wasn’t a good idea, and thus began the era of the new car window sticker.
When I got into the business in 1970, Monroneys weren’t required on trucks. They had a listing of equipment but no prices. I don’t remember what they were marked up, but 20 to 30 percent sounds about right. Later, the manufactures voluntarily started adding prices to the stickers, but the dealers generally ripped them off. It wasn’t until sometime in the mid-70s before trucks finally came under the Monroney law too.
Today Monroney stickers are easily removed and given to the customer upon delivery; a simple razor blade and window cleaner will do the trick. But when I first started selling cars there was no way you could save the sticker for the customer. It was as if they used the same glue they would later use to attach the tiles to the Space Shuttle on those suckers, and getting them off was a real bitch.
The best way of getting the job done was to let the sticker soak in window cleaner for a few minutes before you attempted to remove them. The process would sometimes take the entire time the customer was in F&I signing up. (No going to fill the cars up with gas in those days!) You couldn’t use a razor blade alone. You had to have one of those scrappers used for removing paint in order to make sure it wasn’t going to be an all day job.
My brother had a little side business selling those scrapers to the salesman for $5.00 a piece, and he would occasionally pull a little surprise inspection to make sure you had one in your office. Why? It wasn’t a moneymaking thing; he wanted to make sure the customer didn’t go off the lot with the sticker still on the car. It wasn’t safe, and he didn’t want the customer to show the sticker to friends and family who might suggest he paid too much money for that Ford LTD.
Later, it was the pack sticker he was worried about. By the late 70’s we were selling Datsuns. The cars hardly any had any mark up in them at all. Every dealer packed the price, and everyone was using a pack sticker. We didn’t want the customer to later come out of the ether and realize he paid over Monroney for the car.
What you had was an automotive conundrum. Glue technology had advanced to the point where with a little finesse you could save the Monroney, so what do you do? Do you give the customer the Monroney? Do you give him the Monroney plus the pack sticker and hope it didn’t come back to bite you on the ass?
Fortunately it wasn’t a big deal not to save the stickers because in those days people hadn’t yet gotten in the habit of expecting them. You had to be a little sly about it though. The best technique was when you took the customer to finance you’d introduce them to the F&I manager and just as you left you’d casually mention that you were going to get the car ready for delivery and remove all the stickers. Then you scooted out of there before they could think about asking you to save the Monroney. Worked like a charm.
Today the customers expect to have the stickers. That’s not a bad thing. If I were buying a new car I’d want it too. But it’s now a different world. For the most part pack stickers have fallen by the wayside and it isn’t very often that you sell a new car for over sticker. So there is no conflict there. It’s a shame though. I wish the days when trying to hide the stickers because you made a nice pop were still here.
Talk to you later,
David
P.S. Any of you remember the pack stickers that were designed to look just like the Monroneys? A great Car Man idea while it lasted. Unfortunately the government didn’t agree.
“Oh, one of those,” I thought. You see them every once in a while, a nut whose idea of keeping a new car new is keeping the window sticker on it long after the new car smell has faded into history.
This got me thinking about window stickers or Monroneys as they are called. They’re named after the Oklahoma congressman, A.S. Mike Monroney, who sponsored the law requiring them in the late 50’s. Before the advent of the Monroney sticker, car dealers could ask whatever the hell they wanted for a new car just as they do with used cars today. Somehow the government decided that wasn’t a good idea, and thus began the era of the new car window sticker.
When I got into the business in 1970, Monroneys weren’t required on trucks. They had a listing of equipment but no prices. I don’t remember what they were marked up, but 20 to 30 percent sounds about right. Later, the manufactures voluntarily started adding prices to the stickers, but the dealers generally ripped them off. It wasn’t until sometime in the mid-70s before trucks finally came under the Monroney law too.
Today Monroney stickers are easily removed and given to the customer upon delivery; a simple razor blade and window cleaner will do the trick. But when I first started selling cars there was no way you could save the sticker for the customer. It was as if they used the same glue they would later use to attach the tiles to the Space Shuttle on those suckers, and getting them off was a real bitch.
The best way of getting the job done was to let the sticker soak in window cleaner for a few minutes before you attempted to remove them. The process would sometimes take the entire time the customer was in F&I signing up. (No going to fill the cars up with gas in those days!) You couldn’t use a razor blade alone. You had to have one of those scrappers used for removing paint in order to make sure it wasn’t going to be an all day job.
My brother had a little side business selling those scrapers to the salesman for $5.00 a piece, and he would occasionally pull a little surprise inspection to make sure you had one in your office. Why? It wasn’t a moneymaking thing; he wanted to make sure the customer didn’t go off the lot with the sticker still on the car. It wasn’t safe, and he didn’t want the customer to show the sticker to friends and family who might suggest he paid too much money for that Ford LTD.
Later, it was the pack sticker he was worried about. By the late 70’s we were selling Datsuns. The cars hardly any had any mark up in them at all. Every dealer packed the price, and everyone was using a pack sticker. We didn’t want the customer to later come out of the ether and realize he paid over Monroney for the car.
What you had was an automotive conundrum. Glue technology had advanced to the point where with a little finesse you could save the Monroney, so what do you do? Do you give the customer the Monroney? Do you give him the Monroney plus the pack sticker and hope it didn’t come back to bite you on the ass?
Fortunately it wasn’t a big deal not to save the stickers because in those days people hadn’t yet gotten in the habit of expecting them. You had to be a little sly about it though. The best technique was when you took the customer to finance you’d introduce them to the F&I manager and just as you left you’d casually mention that you were going to get the car ready for delivery and remove all the stickers. Then you scooted out of there before they could think about asking you to save the Monroney. Worked like a charm.
Today the customers expect to have the stickers. That’s not a bad thing. If I were buying a new car I’d want it too. But it’s now a different world. For the most part pack stickers have fallen by the wayside and it isn’t very often that you sell a new car for over sticker. So there is no conflict there. It’s a shame though. I wish the days when trying to hide the stickers because you made a nice pop were still here.
Talk to you later,
David
P.S. Any of you remember the pack stickers that were designed to look just like the Monroneys? A great Car Man idea while it lasted. Unfortunately the government didn’t agree.
Used Car Reconditioning
All Car Men have experienced this situation. You took a cream puff in on trade: low miles, almost new tires, no dents or scratches. It’s the dream trade, a home run for the guy lucky enough to sell it when it hits the lot. A week later the little beauty comes out of detail and is parked on the front line like a sparkling diamond.
The next day you sell it, you lucky bastard! You start calculating the gross in your mind starting with what you took it in for. You estimate reconditioning costs (didn’t need much!), plus the pack and any other charges you can think of that management might tack on. Still, the calculation is good. It’s a God damn three pounder!
Two days later you get your voucher: It’s a mini.
You’ve been screwed my man! Caught up in a little scam called “used car reconditioning”. The recon fraud is as old as the business itself. Some dealers use this opportunity to squeeze out every dime of excess gross they can before the little beauty hits the line. A car comes into inventory and is taken to the shop for safety, smog and detail. The shop attempts to find enough wrong with it to get as much bucks onto the repair order as they can. They’ll try to make the sucker brand new, though many used cars only end up with a huge reconditioning bill and not a lot to show for it.
I once worked at a Dodge dealership whose idea of reconditioning seemed to be just to drive the sled slowly through the shop while the mechanics--strike that, I meant to say technicians--waved at it. I’m not that picky, but its nice when a used car has two working headlights, a spare tire, and power windows that actually go up and down. My nickname for the place was The Evil Empire.
Used cars can be a nice little profit center for a dealer even before they’re parked on the front line. Remember, for every $100 he can tack on to a used car R.O., that’s $100 less gross he has to pay you on. He makes a profit on in the shop, a profit on the car when it’s sold, and a profit on the salesman who sells it. Pretty nifty, huh?
Obviously, not all dealers do this, and I’m not opposed to a little extra recon if it results in a more marketable car. It’s the same as when they make a Hollywood movie and you hear a critic say, “they spent a lot of money, but the results are all up there on the screen.” People will always up money for a nice car.
So, what can you do about the used car recon scam? The answer is simple: nothing. Protesting will probably get you fired. Working at a dealership ultimately comes down to the income vs. bullshit ratio. The more money you make, the more bullshit you should be willing put up with. If you’re making $10K a month, maybe it’s not a good idea to bitch about the money you suspect they’re stealing from you.
But if you’re not making enough money, and its obvious that they are trying everything in their power to keep it that way, maybe it’s time to have a little sales meeting with yourself. In view of today’s market, is it a good idea to rant and rave? If you don’t have another job lined up, I’d bite my tongue for the time being. But if you’re sure you can get a better job, by all means launch!
The perfect situation is to get a job at a place you feel you can trust. I think I wrote something once about dealership personalities. Calm well-run car dealerships will probably be reasonably straight with you. Crazy, unorganized places should set off warning lights in your brain to hang on to your wallet.
Talk to you later,
David
The next day you sell it, you lucky bastard! You start calculating the gross in your mind starting with what you took it in for. You estimate reconditioning costs (didn’t need much!), plus the pack and any other charges you can think of that management might tack on. Still, the calculation is good. It’s a God damn three pounder!
Two days later you get your voucher: It’s a mini.
You’ve been screwed my man! Caught up in a little scam called “used car reconditioning”. The recon fraud is as old as the business itself. Some dealers use this opportunity to squeeze out every dime of excess gross they can before the little beauty hits the line. A car comes into inventory and is taken to the shop for safety, smog and detail. The shop attempts to find enough wrong with it to get as much bucks onto the repair order as they can. They’ll try to make the sucker brand new, though many used cars only end up with a huge reconditioning bill and not a lot to show for it.
I once worked at a Dodge dealership whose idea of reconditioning seemed to be just to drive the sled slowly through the shop while the mechanics--strike that, I meant to say technicians--waved at it. I’m not that picky, but its nice when a used car has two working headlights, a spare tire, and power windows that actually go up and down. My nickname for the place was The Evil Empire.
Used cars can be a nice little profit center for a dealer even before they’re parked on the front line. Remember, for every $100 he can tack on to a used car R.O., that’s $100 less gross he has to pay you on. He makes a profit on in the shop, a profit on the car when it’s sold, and a profit on the salesman who sells it. Pretty nifty, huh?
Obviously, not all dealers do this, and I’m not opposed to a little extra recon if it results in a more marketable car. It’s the same as when they make a Hollywood movie and you hear a critic say, “they spent a lot of money, but the results are all up there on the screen.” People will always up money for a nice car.
So, what can you do about the used car recon scam? The answer is simple: nothing. Protesting will probably get you fired. Working at a dealership ultimately comes down to the income vs. bullshit ratio. The more money you make, the more bullshit you should be willing put up with. If you’re making $10K a month, maybe it’s not a good idea to bitch about the money you suspect they’re stealing from you.
But if you’re not making enough money, and its obvious that they are trying everything in their power to keep it that way, maybe it’s time to have a little sales meeting with yourself. In view of today’s market, is it a good idea to rant and rave? If you don’t have another job lined up, I’d bite my tongue for the time being. But if you’re sure you can get a better job, by all means launch!
The perfect situation is to get a job at a place you feel you can trust. I think I wrote something once about dealership personalities. Calm well-run car dealerships will probably be reasonably straight with you. Crazy, unorganized places should set off warning lights in your brain to hang on to your wallet.
Talk to you later,
David
Thoughts On The GM/Chrysler Dealership Closings
If I was a Chrysler or GM dealer caught up in the recent dealership closure announcements I’d be damned curious as to what type of criteria they used in making their decision. Rush Limbaugh is already bitching that Republican dealers are being targeted, but that is patently ridiculous. I mean, how may Democrat car dealers are there out there? Like four?
Now I realize that a drastic reduction in the amount of Chrysler and GM dealerships was necessary; too many dealers, too little sales. Someone has to go. But how do you make the decision as to who goes and who stays? If you need to get rid of 25% of your dealers, wouldn’t it be logical that you just get rid of the lowest 25% performers?
Unfortunately it doesn’t seem to be that way. From what I gather it appears that many successful dealerships that are making money each month have inexplicably received cancellation letters while other less successful dealers have been spared. What’s that all about?
Chrysler and GM might be using this opportunity to extract a little revenge on renegade dealerships. You know, the type of dealer with an independent mind that doesn’t like to play ball with the factory all the time. Maybe they demurred when they were asked to order an extra load of Durangos during the height of the gas crisis. They’ve got a good business; they know how to sell cars (something the factory is notoriously ignorant about), yet they are going away.
I certainly hope that political correctness hasn’t entered the process. Over the last three decades the manufactures have strived to have an “inclusive” dealer body. This means they wanted more than just white males as car dealers. Minorities were actively recruited, a lofty ideal that I wholeheartedly agree with. There are certainly some great minority men and women out there that have become successful dealers because they were given a chance.
But there were also some recruits who didn’t know their asses from a hole in the ground. I know this sounds harsh, but if you’ve been around this business for any length of time you have either worked for or heard of a dealer who got his franchise for reasons other than being a potentially great Car Man. So what about these inept goofs? Have some of them been saved at the expense of a hard working stiff who was dumped because he has the misfortune of having blue eyes?
Since I don’t work for anybody in the media, I can sound off on this. Since you don’t know exactly where I live, I don’t expect any Molotov cocktails to be thrown at my front window any time soon. I’m not a racist. I just call them as I see them. In my opinion a dealer’s franchise should only be canceled because of their proven lack of merit, not because of sex, race or any other factor.
Hey, you lawyers out there! Can you smell a class-action lawsuit in the air?
One more thought before I go out and hawk for an up. A friend of mine who works at a Dodge dealership that was given the ax told me they had received a couple of taunting calls from another dealership that had escaped their fate. Make me emperor of this country for a week, and I’ll line those bastards up against a wall and have them shot.
Never forget that we are all in this together. We don’t have to like each other, but we should all recognize the simple fact that everyone has a right to make a living, and we should all have a little empathy for all our collective fates. What happens to your automotive brother might happen to you some day, so have some compassion!
Talk to you later,
David
Now I realize that a drastic reduction in the amount of Chrysler and GM dealerships was necessary; too many dealers, too little sales. Someone has to go. But how do you make the decision as to who goes and who stays? If you need to get rid of 25% of your dealers, wouldn’t it be logical that you just get rid of the lowest 25% performers?
Unfortunately it doesn’t seem to be that way. From what I gather it appears that many successful dealerships that are making money each month have inexplicably received cancellation letters while other less successful dealers have been spared. What’s that all about?
Chrysler and GM might be using this opportunity to extract a little revenge on renegade dealerships. You know, the type of dealer with an independent mind that doesn’t like to play ball with the factory all the time. Maybe they demurred when they were asked to order an extra load of Durangos during the height of the gas crisis. They’ve got a good business; they know how to sell cars (something the factory is notoriously ignorant about), yet they are going away.
I certainly hope that political correctness hasn’t entered the process. Over the last three decades the manufactures have strived to have an “inclusive” dealer body. This means they wanted more than just white males as car dealers. Minorities were actively recruited, a lofty ideal that I wholeheartedly agree with. There are certainly some great minority men and women out there that have become successful dealers because they were given a chance.
But there were also some recruits who didn’t know their asses from a hole in the ground. I know this sounds harsh, but if you’ve been around this business for any length of time you have either worked for or heard of a dealer who got his franchise for reasons other than being a potentially great Car Man. So what about these inept goofs? Have some of them been saved at the expense of a hard working stiff who was dumped because he has the misfortune of having blue eyes?
Since I don’t work for anybody in the media, I can sound off on this. Since you don’t know exactly where I live, I don’t expect any Molotov cocktails to be thrown at my front window any time soon. I’m not a racist. I just call them as I see them. In my opinion a dealer’s franchise should only be canceled because of their proven lack of merit, not because of sex, race or any other factor.
Hey, you lawyers out there! Can you smell a class-action lawsuit in the air?
One more thought before I go out and hawk for an up. A friend of mine who works at a Dodge dealership that was given the ax told me they had received a couple of taunting calls from another dealership that had escaped their fate. Make me emperor of this country for a week, and I’ll line those bastards up against a wall and have them shot.
Never forget that we are all in this together. We don’t have to like each other, but we should all recognize the simple fact that everyone has a right to make a living, and we should all have a little empathy for all our collective fates. What happens to your automotive brother might happen to you some day, so have some compassion!
Talk to you later,
David
Classic Cars
One of the fun things about selling Fords, Chryslers or Chevy’s is the goofballs who own “classic” cars. Typically you’ll encounter them on a weekend morning. Maybe it’s a lovingly restored ’56 Chevy, perhaps an old Barracuda, or a ’66 Mustang. They pull on the lot and park their automotive obsessions in the most conspicuous spot they can find, maybe even taking up two parking spaces so no one will ding the door of their baby.
As a lad I used to enjoy these old cars. They were a welcome break in a busy day. But over the years I began to notice something. I never sold a new car or truck to a guy driving a classic. As a matter of fact it dawned on me that they only spent a cursory amount of time checking out my inventory. They mostly seemed interested in me checking out their inventory!
Guys who sell Toyotas probably don’t get a lot of this. I mean, there’s no one out there restoring old Cressidas. At least I hope not. But even Toyota salesmen are not immune to a guy in a Buick Roadmaster if he’s desperate enough for attention.
The truth is most Car Men don’t give a crap about cars. Don’t get me wrong, we can all appreciate a 50’s chrome beauty, but for us an automobile is just iron, plastic and paint. Most gear heads don’t make good car salesman. They get too wrapped up in the excitement of it all and forget about hammering out a gross.
But these poor bastards who spend all their free time restoring old cars; they constantly need attention. Car shows don’t come around that often. You can only go on so many caravan rides with you buddies. Sometimes they wake up on a Saturday needing a quick approval fix. They need someone to validate all their hard work. So they take the old Camaro down to their local car dealership, hoping that someone there will “ooh and aah” over their pride and joy.
Here’s something fun for you to do when you encounter one of these middle-aged, gray-haired gear geeks: Ignore the freaking car!
I pretend like I don’t even see the damn thing. “Can I help you, sir?” I ask in my friendliest voice, my eyes ignoring his ride. Thus begins an awkward fifteen minutes. He pretends he's interested in buying something. I pretend he's going to buy something. He lingers close to his little beauty to insure I see it. I pretend he drove in in a '97 Neon. I try to draw him out, suggesting we go out back to look for one of those new trucks he mentioned. He rarely wants to go. You can see the frustration and disappointment building. It’s great!
Now here’s a perfect example of why I’m not qualified to train anyone. Because as anyone who purports to know the art of selling cars would tell you, I’m not handling this properly. After all he might really be interested in buying something. You should go ahead and massage his ego a little. Do you what you can to get the job done, son! Be a company man for Christ’s sake!
But that’s not how I roll.
There was a lady who used to come into Shellworth Chevrolet about once a month. She had this beautiful ’53 Chevy. It was eggshell blue and white. Even my jaded eyes widened the first time I saw it. It was just like the one my grandmother had, the one with a blown reverse gear. The lady wore a Chevy jacket and Chevy earrings. I suspected she had a Chevy tattoo hidden somewhere on her body. She was proud of her car and desperately wanted me to acknowledge it. I, of course, being an obstinate asshole, refused to do it. I clearly pissed her off.
No matter whatever else happens in my life, I’ll always have fond memories of that…
Talk to you later,
David
As a lad I used to enjoy these old cars. They were a welcome break in a busy day. But over the years I began to notice something. I never sold a new car or truck to a guy driving a classic. As a matter of fact it dawned on me that they only spent a cursory amount of time checking out my inventory. They mostly seemed interested in me checking out their inventory!
Guys who sell Toyotas probably don’t get a lot of this. I mean, there’s no one out there restoring old Cressidas. At least I hope not. But even Toyota salesmen are not immune to a guy in a Buick Roadmaster if he’s desperate enough for attention.
The truth is most Car Men don’t give a crap about cars. Don’t get me wrong, we can all appreciate a 50’s chrome beauty, but for us an automobile is just iron, plastic and paint. Most gear heads don’t make good car salesman. They get too wrapped up in the excitement of it all and forget about hammering out a gross.
But these poor bastards who spend all their free time restoring old cars; they constantly need attention. Car shows don’t come around that often. You can only go on so many caravan rides with you buddies. Sometimes they wake up on a Saturday needing a quick approval fix. They need someone to validate all their hard work. So they take the old Camaro down to their local car dealership, hoping that someone there will “ooh and aah” over their pride and joy.
Here’s something fun for you to do when you encounter one of these middle-aged, gray-haired gear geeks: Ignore the freaking car!
I pretend like I don’t even see the damn thing. “Can I help you, sir?” I ask in my friendliest voice, my eyes ignoring his ride. Thus begins an awkward fifteen minutes. He pretends he's interested in buying something. I pretend he's going to buy something. He lingers close to his little beauty to insure I see it. I pretend he drove in in a '97 Neon. I try to draw him out, suggesting we go out back to look for one of those new trucks he mentioned. He rarely wants to go. You can see the frustration and disappointment building. It’s great!
Now here’s a perfect example of why I’m not qualified to train anyone. Because as anyone who purports to know the art of selling cars would tell you, I’m not handling this properly. After all he might really be interested in buying something. You should go ahead and massage his ego a little. Do you what you can to get the job done, son! Be a company man for Christ’s sake!
But that’s not how I roll.
There was a lady who used to come into Shellworth Chevrolet about once a month. She had this beautiful ’53 Chevy. It was eggshell blue and white. Even my jaded eyes widened the first time I saw it. It was just like the one my grandmother had, the one with a blown reverse gear. The lady wore a Chevy jacket and Chevy earrings. I suspected she had a Chevy tattoo hidden somewhere on her body. She was proud of her car and desperately wanted me to acknowledge it. I, of course, being an obstinate asshole, refused to do it. I clearly pissed her off.
No matter whatever else happens in my life, I’ll always have fond memories of that…
Talk to you later,
David
When The Dam Breaks
Whenever business was particularly bad for a prolonged period of time, my brother, Danny, would point at the cars streaming up and down Mission Boulevard and say, “They won’t last forever! There going to have to buy something sometime. All we have to do is wait them out.”
And of course he was right. The market would inevitably turn, and the showroom would once again fill with customers. The mooches would resume their ritual of kicking tires and asking stupid questions. The salesmen would start the process of rooting out the buyers from the stokers. The automotive world would return to its rightful order. The only bummer was the trade-ins. They had all been driven into the ground, a veritable sea of $100 dollar cars. But the lesson of it all was that the business always comes back.
Always.
Now I will be the first to admit that I never envisioned a protracted automotive drought such as this one. In my wildest dreams I never imaged the five plus years of agony we have all gone through. And I’ll also admit that I can’t predict when this crap will end, but if I were a betting man I’d put down a hundred that we have another year of misery ahead of us. One more year of buying food off the dollar menu at McDonalds and drinking cheap beer. One more year of sales managers acting like dicks and dealers walking around with long faces.
Here’s a weird angle I bet you’ve never thought of: The quality of today’s cars has prolonged this drought. Forty years ago cars were about done at 80,000 miles, so the ability of The Others to hold out on us was limited. Today, most cars are just broken in at 80K. Even American built cars, dreaded by pipe smokers everywhere, can last well over 100,000 miles. So in a sense we are victims of our own quest for quality.
But I come here today with good news. When the automotive dam finally breaks it’s going to be like Noah’s flood. There is enough pent up demand for new metal in this county to make us all lots and lots of money. All we have to do is hold on--if we can. Young salesmen still have a chance to bail out of the business if things get too rough. Old Car Men like me have no choice but to wait. We were born to this business, and we don’t know how to do anything else.
The promise of tomorrow is that we will sell a helluva lot of cars. We’ll once again be able to throw the crazy people off the lot and concentrate on the buyers. The time will come when we’ll have the luxury of bitching about the low inventory and how upper management is flooding the floor with goof balls.
All well be as it was.
So get prepared. Get out your best rain gear. Because when the dam breaks we’re all going to get very, very wet.
Talk to you later,
David
And of course he was right. The market would inevitably turn, and the showroom would once again fill with customers. The mooches would resume their ritual of kicking tires and asking stupid questions. The salesmen would start the process of rooting out the buyers from the stokers. The automotive world would return to its rightful order. The only bummer was the trade-ins. They had all been driven into the ground, a veritable sea of $100 dollar cars. But the lesson of it all was that the business always comes back.
Always.
Now I will be the first to admit that I never envisioned a protracted automotive drought such as this one. In my wildest dreams I never imaged the five plus years of agony we have all gone through. And I’ll also admit that I can’t predict when this crap will end, but if I were a betting man I’d put down a hundred that we have another year of misery ahead of us. One more year of buying food off the dollar menu at McDonalds and drinking cheap beer. One more year of sales managers acting like dicks and dealers walking around with long faces.
Here’s a weird angle I bet you’ve never thought of: The quality of today’s cars has prolonged this drought. Forty years ago cars were about done at 80,000 miles, so the ability of The Others to hold out on us was limited. Today, most cars are just broken in at 80K. Even American built cars, dreaded by pipe smokers everywhere, can last well over 100,000 miles. So in a sense we are victims of our own quest for quality.
But I come here today with good news. When the automotive dam finally breaks it’s going to be like Noah’s flood. There is enough pent up demand for new metal in this county to make us all lots and lots of money. All we have to do is hold on--if we can. Young salesmen still have a chance to bail out of the business if things get too rough. Old Car Men like me have no choice but to wait. We were born to this business, and we don’t know how to do anything else.
The promise of tomorrow is that we will sell a helluva lot of cars. We’ll once again be able to throw the crazy people off the lot and concentrate on the buyers. The time will come when we’ll have the luxury of bitching about the low inventory and how upper management is flooding the floor with goof balls.
All well be as it was.
So get prepared. Get out your best rain gear. Because when the dam breaks we’re all going to get very, very wet.
Talk to you later,
David
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