There is an old Car Man axiom called, “The Three Greatest Mysteries.” The first mystery is how did they build the pyramids? The second, where do elephants go to die? The third and greatest mystery of all is where do the Chinese buy their cars? You see Chinese people everyday driving way too slow on the city streets and highways. They must buy those cars somewhere, but if you ask the average Car Man the last time he sold one, he would be hard pressed to answer.
I have nothing against the Chinese. I love Lucy Liu, beef chow mein and firecrackers, but during my forty years in this business I do not believe I have sold more than a dozen of them cars. I developed a bad attitude toward Chinese people early in my career. After suffering through the green pea ritual of having the older salesman trick me into taking them as ups, I soon realized that I was being put together.
Simply put, waiting on most Chinese people is usually a frustrating and puzzling experience. Frustrating because they make extremely stupid offers and then not budge a dime; puzzling because when it comes to purchasing a car their thought processes run counter to those of most other people.
The Chinese are a people of great knowledge and logic. They make great doctors, dentists, CPA’s. They are brilliant scientists, mathematicians, lawyers, and restaurateurs. Our culture is richer for their presence in both our history and our future, but you do not want to sell them a car!
Waiting on a Chinese customer is usually a nightmare. They are mystifying to most Car Men. Even Chinese Car Men do not like waiting on them. Why? Because when it comes down to buying a car the great logic which is a hallmark of their personalities goes completely out the window.
Example: Chinese people do not believe in factory invoices. Unlike most of the other customers you encounter who are trying to get a mooch deal, you cannot make things easy by offering to sell them a new car or truck for a figure over the factory invoice. They never go for it. You wonder to yourself, what the hell is wrong here? I am only asking for $500 over! Caucasians fall for it every time, assuming you can get them financed, but not the Chinese. If you show them a factory invoice they will look at you blankly then hit you with an offer that is not even remotely based in reality.
This puzzled me for years until one day a Chinese customer finally let me in on the secret. I was selling Hondas, a prime target for Chinese vampires. He had made me the traditional crazy offer on an Accord. I threw up my hands and asked, “Where the hell did you get that number?” Normally any questions about their car-thinking processes are met with deaf ears, but this time the man looked at me and said, “I dreamt it.”
“Dreamt it?” I asked, more than a little dumbfounded.
He proceeded to tell me that he had a dream that he was spending a certain amount of money for a car. So he came down the dealership and made an offer based on the dream.
“You made me an offer based on a freaking dream?” I asked with amazement.
Yes, he nodded.
“So what are you going to do now that you know you can’t buy a new Accord for that amount of money?”
“I will go to another Honda dealership and offer it there.”
I thought, “Goddamn! Do they all think this way?”
As far as I can tell Chinese people do not get the concept of time versus money. They will spend every weekend for weeks trying to save $100 on a car. They will burn that much in gas, but it does not seem to make any difference to them.
“What will happen if you go to every Honda dealership in the Bay Area and no one will sell you a car for that figure?”
“I will then try for a Toyota Camry.”
“And after that?”
“I will look at Nissans.”
And then Mazda, Mitsubishi, and I guess eventually the bottom of the Japanese automotive barrel, the lowly Suzuki. Hell, a couple of model years might pass before he buys!
This situation has frustrated me so much I made a vow never to sell cars that Chinese people prefer to buy like Hondas or Toyotas. If you want to avoid dealing with the Chinese sell Chevrolets. Chinese people do not drive Chevrolets. If you see one that does I guarantee you it is either a rental car or he is running for public office in Detroit.
Many Chinese people are very superstitious. I have had them refuse to test drive a used car because the license plate was an unlucky number. I once worked at a place that had an unlucky dealer number. I could not use a dealer plate when taking them for a ride in a new car!
They do not like even numbers. A smart Car Man knows to never suggest a price like $12,000 for a car. It has to be and odd number, $12,107 or something like that.
With all this in mind, a Car Man on the lookout for a prospect on a Saturday morning will do what he can to avoid waiting on Chinese customers. They are pretty easy to spot. They often travel around in what we refer to as wagon trains, at least two cars filled to capacity for one buyer. A fellow Car Man once told me that they usually like to have a total of seven people because seven is a lucky number. Whenever I have counted six, I wondered if they had the ashes of an ancestor in their trunk.
The upside of selling cars to Chinese people is that almost all of them have good credit. Chinese flakes are few and far between. If you run into one it is usually because of a gambling problem. They love to gamble. If you doubt this just visit your local Indian casino.
I suspect that selling the Chinese cars will always be an enigma. Future generations of Car Men will continue to spend time trying to figure them out, only to come to the conclusion that the best course of action is to simply avoid them. But the mystery remains: where the hell do Chinese people buy their cars?
No one really knows.
Talk to you later,
David
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