The Popeye Syndrome

NOTE: IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT THERE IS A MEDICAL CONDITION CALLED POPEYE SYNDROME. THIS BLOG ENTRY IS NOT ABOUT THAT CONDITION! I WISH YOU WELL ON YOUR SEARCH. FEEL FREE TO READ ON IF YOU WISH.

THANKS, DAVID TEVES


I have a list in my wallet with blog ideas that have flashed through my mind over the last few months. When an idea comes to me I’ve got to quickly write it down because at my age ideas don’t hang around too long. Many a brilliant thought has come to me while taking a shower only to disappear by the time I’ve turn off the water reached for a towel.

Most of the time I’m able to write an entry from these ideas, but even though all are given equal time to gestate among the dollar bills and gas receipts in my Lord Buxton, some of them never develop into the five hundred words I need to justify your attention. Here are a few of my problem children.

“The Bee Back Club”. Back in the day Car Men were obsessed with customers who told you they’d be back. If saying this to a salesman had been a capitol offense, thousands would have died. A cleaver printer even offered “bee back” cards. It had a bee flying around it and said, “I promise (write your name in the blank space here) that I will be back. It offered $50 off the purchase if they presented the card. I gave way tons of these cards; no one came back.

“454 With An Attitude”. I thought this was a really clever title, tying in the legendary GM big block displacement with a lousy credit score. The entry would have been about flakes with an attitude. How this tied in with a big block I have no idea. I did end up writing about flakes in another entry but not exclusively about their attitudes, which in many cases is shitty.

“Sales Trainers” I have touched upon these maggots in the past, but not with the vitriol I had planned as a full out assault on their integrity. The basic premise is if these guys are so good at selling cars, they should be selling cars not jacking gullible green peas. You know, just thinking about them pisses me off, so maybe I will write about them in the future.

“The Popeye Syndrome”. This little ditty is an old favorite of mine. It has to do with the Popeye cartoon saying, “I’ve had all I can stands, and I can’t take no more”! Car men experience this state of being all the time especially with sales managers, but I’ve been unable to flesh the thing out. Maybe I’ve had all I can stands.

“Black Girls” I would love to write an entire entry on my experiences selling cars to African-American females, but I fear being branded a racist. All I can say is sometimes the truth hurts, and I’m afraid to say more.

“Dealership Personalities”. This could be an entire entry; I just don’t feel like writing it. It has to do with a dealerships vibe being very close to that of the owners. You fill in the blanks.

“Bore and Stroke”. In the olden days, car brochures were full of technical information: compression ratios, axle ratios, and the bore and stroke of an engine. Not being a mechanic, I was never sure what bore and stroke actually was except for a vague idea that it had something to do with pistons. I have vivid memories of propeller heads with slide rules using this information to come up with some sort of efficiency ratio of the car. Car Men hated these guys because they were extreme mooches.

As a kid I remember an old Car Man explaining bore and stroke. “The bore is $1000 down, and the stroke is $200 per month!” Amen.

Well kids, this concludes my list. I can now throw it away and make room for more stupid thoughts. Hopefully they will come on a timely basis. I enjoy doing this. It keeps me from thinking about the real issues in life.


Talk to you later,


David