Writing this blog can be one of my life’s most enjoyable experiences or hell on earth. Let me give you an example. On Sunday I wrote two blog entries in the space of an hour. I’ve already posted “Dwight’s Dilemma” and a second piece, “Gran Tornio” will be posted in a few days.
Then there’s the matter of a piece I’ve been working on called “Trade-ins”. When it came into my brain one morning a couple of weeks ago, I was filled with excitement. Damn I had a lot to say on the subject of trades! It might even be enough for a two-parter. But writing the thing has turned out to be a nightmare.
Sometimes writing can get out of control. When I was writing fiction I noticed that after a certain point a story seemed to take on a life of its own. This was especially true on longer pieces. There came a point when it wasn’t yours anymore. Some other force seemed to take over, and it felt like you were only there for the ride.
But in the case of “Trade-ins” the writing force went completely out of control. It turned into a veritable rant about The Others, corrupt managers and the pressures of selling cars. I completely lost myself in the thing like a bad acid trip. There came a point when I had to force myself to stop and shut the writing program down! My little exercise in writing had turned from an amusing way to wile away a Sunday morning into a wild beast with very sharp teeth.
This got me thinking about the crazier ideas that have come to me while brain storming in the shower. I wrote a complete entry about going on dealer trades when I was a kid. Now God has blessed me with the ability to recognize when the writing has gone wrong, and after I wrote the thing I realized that no one would find it interesting but me!
Then there was the case of the mythical heavy metal Car Man band called “OA/UA” (A take off on the band AC/DC.) For those of The Others who are reading this, OA stands for over allowance and UA stands for under allowance. I won’t go into an explanation about what that means because to tell you the truth it’s none of your business. The point is that I spent the better part of an afternoon spinning a mythical tale about this band. What the hell was I thinking about?
One of the things that bothers me a little is the blog entries that I could write but wouldn’t dare. It’s not like the police would be called, it’s kind of like that commercial that says “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas”. Got to be careful about what goes out there on the web. If President Obama ever wants to appoint me to a cabinet post, I don’t want an entry about how a lady customer met me at her door naked screwing up my chances for glory. So, siree!
Getting back to “Trade-ins”, I’ll resurrect it soon enough. I’ve got to wait until I have a day off, wire myself up with coffee, and tackle it to the ground like a cowboy roping a cow. I’m sure I can make it an intelligent statement about how trade-ins and how they affect the lives of Car Men.
But then again, I might just leave it as a rant.
Talk to you later,
David
1 comment:
David- ALL of your blog entries are enjoyable to read. I think that your readers certainly can abide topics that are a little off the beaten path. I myself used to drive my own dealer trades, so I can relate to your fond memories of doing so. I used to enjoy seeing other new car dealerships and compare the 'atmosphere and ambeance' of their store versus our store. So WRITE AWAY. Also, the OA/UA story would be enjoyable to many who like heavy metal, and nowhere is OA more appropriate than making someone happy with their HEAVY METAL SLED TRADE ALLOWANCE!
It's natural to fear that you might accidentally arm one of 'the others' by describing some of the methodology that exists at some stores, but this would hardly be breaking 'new ground' as you and I both know. There have been prior authors (traitors) who wrote the 'inside edition' of car dealings. I know for a fact that many of the others are terrified that one of THEM will write an article detailing all of their sneaky dirty tricks! You know, it would talk about how they run around with "Save the Whales" bumper stickers while driving the biggest gas hogs on the planet because they are SOCCER MOMS IN DAVIS! Or, the importance of wearing Birkenstocks whenever shopping for a car, and don't forget your copy of the Kelly Blue Book and the How to Buy A Car for Below Dealer Cost book you got at the grocery store! You could even talk about the HIVES of propeller-heads, the locust breeding grounds of mooch shoppers, typically hives are found near major college campuses or near Ralph Nader's principal residence... I can almost picture you writing one of your blogs from the perspective of the OTHERS. Now THAT would be funny... things to watch out for that those dirty sales people do... how to lie about the price the dealer down the street just gave you on the EXACT SAME MODEL (we refer to this as a low ball), or how their CAR GURU (the fat guy next door who drives the donut truck) told them how much their TURD (I mean TRADE) is worth..well, I know you can think of a kazillion nuggets that represent the twisted (sister) thinking of THE OTHERS. I think there used to be a show on TV immediately following Rod Serling's The Twilight Zone which was about the others... it was called FANTASY ISLAND, and with what most people think their trade is worth, it was very aptly named!
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