Jokes

My favorite car joke is a cartoon I saw many years ago. It shows a salesman sitting behind his desk, a couple sitting in front of him. On the wall behind him are all kinds of awards and plaques. They say things like “salesman of the year, etc”. You get the idea. The caption says, “Buy the car or I’ll kill you:”

Wouldn’t it be great to use that close just once?

Another cartoon shows a bar crowed with guys in suits. (I like to think of them as the salesman I worked with when I was a kid.) The bartender is on the phone. He says, “Ma’am you’ll have to be more specific. This places is packed with sneaky little shits.”

Here’s a good joke. When I heard it I was working at a dealership where the dealer had long gray hair that he used to wear in a ponytail. Let’s call the guy Bill Smith, but the joke is easily modified for use with your own dealer.

A car salesman dies and goes to heaven. After entering the pearly gates he’s taken on a tour of the place by an angel. It’s filled with big mansions, parks and wide streets. Occasionally, the salesman sees a chauffer-driven convertible with a man with long flowing hair in the back seat driving up and down the streets. After seeing him for the third time, the salesman asks the angel, “Excuse me, but is that God driving down the street?” The angel replies, “No that’s Bill Smith. He just thinks he’s God.”

Another favorite: Once again a car salesman dies and goes to heaven. The angel takes him on the tour. After it’s completed the salesman says, “You know this is all great, and I’m very grateful. But to tell you the truth, I’m really going to miss selling cars. I know this sounds stupid, but do you have any dealerships up here?”

The angel beams. “We sure do!” The angel takes him to a huge Honda dealership. The inventory is wonderful; plenty of new, plenty of used. There are ups everywhere. The angel explains, “You’ll really like it here. The ups are easy, but not too easy--great opportunities to make a nice gross. Split shifts, an up system, and we’re always closed on Sundays.”

The salesman is very happy. “This is great! Now I know I’m really in heaven! But let me ask you something. I’ve really got to take a leak. Where’s the nearest bathroom?

The angel says, “Oh. Just go over to the edge of that cloud.”

The salesman goes over. He unzips and is about to let it loose when he notices people walking around below him. He turns to the angel and says, “I can’t go here, there’s people down there.”

The angel replies, “That’s okay. Those are all the people that told you they’d be back!”



Talk to you later,


David