Confessions of a Car Man

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Creative Ideas For Fun And Profit

When I was a kid back in the 60’s, I used to do dealer trades for Hayward Ford. I remember going to a Ford dealership in the Napa valley and discovering that along with selling cars and trucks they were also selling Philco televisions! (Ford Motor Company owned Philco.)

Over the years this memory has stuck with me and during times of hubris, I’ve speculated that every car dealership should do something other than sell cars. Let’s face it, us car men spend an awful lot of time doing nothing. I realize that this is part of our legacy, but when times are tuff—as they are now—it can get damn boring. So here are my ideas on what we can do with those big lots and long showrooms that are our home away from home.

A bowling alley. A lot of dealerships have long showrooms that virtually do nothing but house a couple of new cars with dead batteries. How about a little three-laner? It can bring in a little money and provide some activities other than listening to XM radio over the dealership’s shitty loudspeakers. The concessions alone could help make the guy’s rent each month.

Tax service. Now this idea has a flaw in that it would probably only be useful a few months out of the year, but think of it. You take that idle computer sitting in the back office, load it with a Turbo Tax program, do returns for a cheap price, and presto! Instant down payments! You know, the more I think about this the better I like it.

An in-house microbrewery. Why is this a good idea? Because I like micro brewed beer and grape vines might scratch up the sides of the cars.

Sell other things with motors. Lawn tractors and rototillers in the spring, jet skis in the summer, and for those of you in snow country, snowmobiles in the winter.

Home electronics. Showrooms are perfect for some big screen TV’s and surround sound systems. Even if you didn’t sell one, it will be great if you’re stuck working on Super bowl Sunday. Throw in microwave ovens and blenders and you have what you need for a party when the dealer goes home for the night.

These are just a few of the creative ways car men can expand their horizons and their pocket books. I’m sure you can think of a few yourselves, but remember the tax idea is mine.


Talk to you later,



David

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