Confessions of a Car Man

HEY! I FEEL ALL ALONE OUT HERE! THROW ME A BONE AND BECOME A FOLLOWER. AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, LEAVE A FREAKING COMMENT!







Wind-Wings

I miss wind-wings. You know the rectangular front side windows that graced the front of most cars until about twenty-five years ago. In my opinion, cars went down hill when they took those handy suckers away from us. If I had my way we’d boycott new cars until they bring them back.

Wind wings were convenient little suckers. Opened a crack, they were a great way to get a little air in a car. They were the first air conditioners. Twisted all the way out, they could bring in a fresh gust of outside air. The faster you drove, the better they worked.

Wind wings were perfect for flicking cigarette ashes, deposing chewing gum, a balled up straw wrapper and an occasional bugger. As they aged they made delightful whistling sounds just to let you know they were still there. They did their job perfectly and without complaint. I don’t recall a wind wing ever being recalled. Why, oh why did they take them from us?

I feel the same way about three-speed, column shift manual transmissions, commonly referred to as “three-on-a-tree”. I’m proud to admit that I’ve been around long enough to have sold these mechanical wonders on brand new cars. Ford Mavericks, they were. The Maverick was the last purely practical car the Ford Motor Company ever made. And three-on-a tree gave them a quaintness that has held them near to my heart even after all these years.

One item they have on modern cars that have revolutionized our society is cup holders. Introduced in the early eighties, they were an instant hit. So much so that it became hard to sell cars that didn’t have them. A car with wind wings, three-on-a-tree and cup holders would be an unbeatable combination in my book.

Another great invention was a fader control for car radios. Even in the days of AM-only a rear speaker with a fader control made you feel like you were one step away from High Fidelity. I became absolutely giddy the first time I encountered one. They were the great-grandfathers of the audio systems we enjoy today.

Last, but not least, we have the case of full-size spare tires. Now, I understand why they were taken from us. With the advent of radials, tires were no longer rotated tires the way you used to, and they were heavy suckers. Back in the 70’s and 80’s before computers took over the emission control job, Detroit was desperately trying to reduce the weight of cars, throwing off things like heavy spares and wing-wind windows like a guy trying to save a sinking boat.

The public hated the idea of donut spares, especially since the early ones had to be blown up by an air canister. Old white guys, always in the forefront of resistance to change, led the charge of refusing to accept the donuts. It got to the point where you even didn’t open the truck of a car during a presentation unless you had to. For quite a while a donut spare could be a deal killer.

I’d also like to mention running boards, spot lights, and those canvas bags you rigged up to your front bumper just in case you needed a little water on a road trip. I realize that these are things would serve no practical purpose in modern life other than to remind us that there was once a time when driving was a completely different experience. I grew up straddling both eras, and it’s increasing difficult for me to say which one I prefer.

Such is the life of an old Car Man!



Talk to you later,


David

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Another relic: bumper jacks!