The Street Fighting Car Man

I recently got into an email discussion with a professional sales trainer. Well, it was more of a pissing contest then a discussion. Me, being the smart-ass that I am, accused the guy of exploiting car salesmen and parroting what he thinks the dealer wants to hear. It got a little ugly.

In retrospect, I might have been have gone a little overboard. I tried to nuke him when a simple hand grenade would have done just nicely. Upon examining the guy’s website I found it full of the usual hoopla, the nauseous combination pitchman and tent revival preacher that make most sales trainers the most distasteful people on the planet.

Or at least that’s my opinion.

Maybe it’s my ego, but I think if I spent an hour with a bunch of empty-headed liners I could give them more practical advice on how to survive in this business than this guy could in a month. Why do I think this way?

Sales trainers tend to develop their sure-fire programs in one of two areas. Area one is, “you’ll never have to take an up again”. Since most guys burn out on ups from time to time, this type of training exploits their desire not to have to wait on that goof driving the Volvo with the “Kill Your Television” bumper sticker in the back. The trainers pitch follow-up systems that usually involve ingenious file boxes and notebooks that will turn your up into a loyal, life-long customer. Conveniently, these supplies will have to be purchased from the sales trainer.

Their pitch is simple: trying to make a living taking ups is stupid, and ironically they are correct. Taking ups all your life is stupid. But they forget that in reality most car salesmen are floor-whores. They live and die by the up. That’s just the way it is, and that’s the way it will always be. For every guy who has an owner file large enough to never take an up again, I’ll show you a thousand who make most of their money with referrals and fresh ups.

My point is why spend money and time on a training method that will not work with the vast majority of salesmen? I guarantee you that within two months of the end of training, all that training will be forgotten, and the follow up binders will be at the bottom of a desk gathering dust.

The second area sales trainers use is how to be a “super-closer”. This is a more motivational based method, guaranteed to get you pumped up for at least a couple of weeks. In my opinion, becoming a great closer is not something you can learn from a few training sessions or by reading books, or listening to tapes (gladly sold by the trainer).

Guys become good closers one of two ways: they’ve got a natural ability, or they’ve learned how to be a closer by experience. Many of your great sales Car Men are natural born superstars. But unfortunately you can’t train a guy to be a superstar. Either he is, or he isn’t.

For example: big guys always have an advantage over other salesmen. Their bulk instills a little awe and fear into a customer. Psychologically most customers don’t want to mess with a guy who looks like they can (and might) beat the crap out of them at any moment. If you’re 5’ 5” and 135 pounds, you don’t instill fear. You’ve got to be clever.

Sales techniques can be taught, but usually these techniques are “politically correct”, watered down so nobody gets hurt. They have to be. In a formal setting at in the conference room over at the Holiday in, you can't advise salesmen to avoid Chinese people.

One of my favorite closes involves switching a guy from a new vehicle to a used vehicle. A lot of customers think that you make more money on a new vehicle than a used one simply because a new vehicle is usually more money. If I’m trying to switch a guy from new to a used (a mini-commission vs. a potential pounder), I say this: “To tell you the truth I’d make more money if you purchased the new one, but I think this used one is the best deal for you.” A lot of times this close works because customers never want you to make any money.

Can you imagine that sales trainer with the five hundred dollar suit teaching you that? Or tips on how to quickly get rid of a mooch? Or how to handle a sales manager who’s trying to rip you off? No how, no way.

I like to think of my self as “The Street Fighting Car Man”. I believe the best way to help out most budding Car Men is to give them practical advice that they can use every day on the line. Like it or not selling cars, especially these days, is war.

Now I realize that my comments on The Others might sound negative to those looking at our business from the outside, but as a salesmen you’re going to meet these idiots every day. You might as well know how to handle them. That is not to say you should do anything illegal. The days of tossing trade-in keys on the roof or packing payments are behind us.

One last thing. Is this blog meant to be taken seriously or is it comedy? I realize I sometimes take things to extremes, but there is truth in the core of ever thing I write. When I started writing this, I didn’t want to turn this into a training session. Yes, I’ve survived all these years, but I’m not going to die rich. All I can say is that I’m a great observer of humanity, and I believe passionately in the things I say.

Am I full of shit or what?


Talk to you later,



David