I believe the time has come to have a serious discussion about cups. Being a serious student of the car business and irrational customers, I have spent a good deal of time contemplating the meaning of a customer who has a cup or can in his or her hands. I know what you’re thinking, the guy truly is nuts. Well, perhaps I am, but there’s nothing I can do about it. It’s just the way I am. But nuts or not, I speak the truth—or at least my version of the truth.
Anyway, back to today’s topic. If your up emerges from his car with an aluminum can in his hand, everything should be okay. The can probably came from home and usually signifies nothing more than thirst or an addiction to Diet Coke. As an up you’re good to go. The exception to this rule is if the said can is a beer can, then all bets are off. Believe it or not, I have waited on people with beer cans in their hands, and it can be an ugly experience if you’re not careful. I won’t go into this any more than that other than to say a test drive is definitely a no-no.
But a paper or plastic cup is a very different story.
If you're up emerges from his car with a paper or plastic cup, warning lights and sirens should go off in your brain. Most times a paper cups signify that the person has probably just come from a fast food place or coffee shop and has nothing else better to do. These ups should be approached with caution and in full jack off prevention mode.
The most vulnerable time to become a cup victim is mid-day. If it’s around noon and the up has a McDonald’s cup in his hand, he’s probably just killing a little time before he has to get back to work. The danger in this situation is not only is he killing his time, he’s killing your time too! Don’t get me wrong, you might have a perfectly legitimate prospect there, but make sure you ask the right questions or you might just miss someone else who really wants to buy a car.
Saturday and Sunday mornings bring out the Starbucks cup. The men are usually wearing baggy shorts and flowered shirts, and the women have on ball caps with a ponytail sticking out from the gap above the adjusting strap. Before they head out to Home Depot, the Starbuck up will come in just after you open to do a little warm-up stroking before they go and buy that new shovel they spent most of the last week researching. The problem is they have all day to do this little chore, and they don’t mind spending a good chunk of it with you. Make sure they’re buyers!
Overall I would estimate that about 70% of the cup buyers are not worth talking to. The problem is that you won’t know that until you give them a shot. After all, it’s your job! But with that in mind I don’t recommend you ask pointed questions like, “Unless you’ve got a cup of coffee for me, I’m not talking to you!” or “What’s up with the fucking cup?” These type of questions are not good conversation starters even tough in would be a lot of fun to watch the reaction.
I’m not sure if this little discussion is sound advice or further proof of my rapidly deteriorating mental state. Maybe it’s a little of both. All I can tell you is that I have found all this to be distressingly true, and I hope you will still try to sell the up a car, but—
BEWARE THE PAPER CUP!
Talk to you later,
David
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