Selling Cars On The Internet

The telephone rings. “Dave’s Quality Cars. May I help you?” I say.

A cheery recorded female voice says, “Another quality lead from Autotrader.com!”

“Dave’s Quality Cars,” I repeat.

“Uh, how much are you asking for the 2003 Silverado?"

Here we go again! I think to myself. Why is it that whenever you get an up call from an Internet ad they always ask you how much the car is even though the price is right there in front of them? Automatically I raise the price two grand.

“It’s 12,995, sir,” I say in my friendliest voice.

“But it says $10,988 on your ad!” he protests indignantly.

“Then its $10,988,” I reply. Or If I’m in a pissy mood I will ask, “Well if it says $10,988, why the heck are you asking me how much it is?”

They never have a good answer for this. I suppose they’re hoping that I’d say lower rice, say $9,988. But the paranoid part of me always thinks it’s the beginning of another evil plot by The Others to screw a Car Man.

Psychologically their inane question backfires on them. By saying $12,995 I am planting the seed that the $10,988 price on the Internet is a special one, leaving at least some people to think that maybe they can’t get it for less money than the Autorader price.

Then there’s those idiots on Craig’s List.

Craig’s List people are a breed apart. I’ve come to the conclusion that this world would be a better place if the majority of them could be humanely destroyed. They are by far the largest collections of idiots you will ever encounter in the car business. Why do I say this? Because from the very beginning of the call they want to bargain the price on the phone!

I’ve searched Craig’s List hoping to discover some sort of training manual that instructs them that they should approach any car ad with an instantaneous grind, but I haven’t found anything. The only conclusion I can reach is that it’s in their genes.

“How much will you lower the price on the Silverado?” they ask. Of if they’re Asians, “You give me last price on Silverado.”

Possible replies:

“Not a dime.”

“How longs a piece of string?”

“Give me your number and if it’s still here six months from now I’ll call you back.”

“The price will go up $100 every time you ask me that question.”

Perhaps a more reasonable approach is in order, though Craig’s List people are rarely reasonable.

“Why don’t you come down and see if you like the truck then we’ll talk about it.”

Usually these conversations turn into Mexican standoffs. They want to grind you on the phone; you want to get their ass down to the dealership so you can tell them the price is the price directly to their sorry face.

As part of my job I post ten cars a day on Craig’s List and each day I will receive a couple of phone calls like the one mentioned above. The up side of it is that it keeps my blood pressure from getting too low.

Don’t get me wrong. I need the Internet to do business. My lot is in a poor neighborhood where almost no one can qualify for a car that’s more that $7,000. So If I have a nice, late model Camry for $12,995 my only hope of selling it is on the Internet.

But boy, I have to wade through a bunch of assholes before I find the ass for that seat!


Talk to you later,


David