A Big Dummy With A Way To Go

My Friend Steve turned me on to the phrase, “I’m just looking for a big dummy with a way to go.” This expression incorporates all the things that a salesman hopes for, a way to make a nice lick on a car. These deals are also called “rent makers”. They are the stuff that dreams are made of.

Now I know that The Others are horrified with the prospect of a car salesman making some money, but let me say this: Believe it or not the happiest, most satisfied customer you can have is the guy you made a big commission on. Not only is he happy, he tends to have the best luck with a car. Maybe every other Dodge Stratus is a piece of crap; his runs like a dream and will continue to do so for the next 150,000 miles.

Mooches, on the other hand, are never happy. They stole that new Honda Accord. The salesman made a $75 mini, and he’d prefer never to see the propeller head again. They drive the service department crazy, and give you a bad CSI* report. And for some reason their car happens to be the worst Accord ever built.

The Car God frowns on low grosses.

“Bullshit,” you non-believers say. Well, maybe I’m exaggerating a little, but for the most part what I say is true, and every car man out there will back me up on this.

The big myth of this business, propagated by sales trainers and factor reps, is that we should all strive to make every customer happy. I say you don’t have to make everyone happy. Ten or twelve each month is usually enough! As for the rest of them. . .

Don’t get me wrong. Every customer should be approached in a professional, cheerful manner, but they should be given a short leash. As a manager I once worked for who was Chinese used to say, “The salesman should always be the honorable host, but the customer has the obligation to be a respectful guest.”

So, we all need a couple of big dummies with a way to go each month. These guys supply the grease that keeps the car man running properly and prevents him from going postal on some innocent bystander.


Talk to you later,



David

*For any of The Others who may be reading, CSI does not stand for Crime Scene Investigation even though murder is sometimes called for. It stands for Customer Satisfaction Index.